33 shades of green: Journey of my marriage

Life Lessons marriage

There are few things more monumental in a man’s life than his wedding day. Today is the anniversary of that day for me. On this day, the 8th of July 1988, exactly thirty-three years ago, Mamatha and I started our marriage together and we were looking forward to being happily married for the rest of my life.

 Am I happily married? The best yardstick is to use the one Socrates put forward two thousand years ago. He said, “By all means, marry. If you get a good wife, you will be happy. If you get a bad one, you will be a philosopher.”

 I love philosophy, and I am a great fan of Schopenhauer and Nietzsche. But I am surely not sad being married. So, where does that put me? 

 Honestly, I love being married. I have that one person I know I can turn to when the chips are down. I can always count on her to tell me how I am always wrong about everything and how I keep making the same dumb mistakes, trusting similar dumb people all the time. On the brighter side, she lends me her ears for all my grouses and betrayals. She is my “alerter” with her periodical throwbacks of my blunders, like renewal pop-ups that appear on Google. 

 I married Mamatha because I believed she would never change from the same simple, naïve, and innocent girl. She married me because she believed she could change the overly aggressive, arrogant, self-loving me. It so turned out that she was right, and I was mistaken. 

Lessons I learnt from my wife in our marriage:

 Lesson no.1

The three most important words for me to practice: “You were right.”

 Lesson No 2

 I am always wrong about almost everything I do in my life, including this blog.

 Lesson no. 3

The time when she is most curious and possessive about me is when I am talking to another woman; she will be all ears and eyes, just as Freud had figured.

 Lesson no. 4

When she is frustrated and wants to discuss a problem, she is not looking for a solution.

  • She will know what to do
  • Wants to be heard, not dissected for solution
  • She wants her feelings to be understood, not analyzed, patronized, or trivialized.

 Lesson no 5

There is no direct answer like “yes” or “no” from wives. If she says: “Do it if it makes you happy,” it means, “don’t you dare.”

If she says, “Are you sure?” When I ask her if we can go out, it means, “of course, you bum.” 

 Lesson no. 6

There is no need for a husband to remember his failures. There is no use in two people remembering the same thing. 

 On a serious note, we had our ups and downs, like a roller coaster but the laughs along the way were the most fulfilling.

 In these thirty-three years, I learned there is no “I” and “my,” but “us” and “we.” So, when you give to your spouse, it comes from a healthy place inside that says, “What I have belongs to you.” I cannot let any other person get that privilege but my wife, the mother of my kids.

 And most of all, I would never have learned to love gardens as much as I do, but for my marital status.

 Why do I title my blog “Thirty-three shades of green?” Because only we husbands can understand how we can be miserable and happy at the same time in a marriage. Marriage is a mix of blues and yellows.

Do you know what color you get if you mix yellow and blue? GREEN. Green means, ‘All Good’

The wedding photo where I am touching my wife’s foot beautifully captures the story of my married life;

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Comments

  • Savitha
    8th July 2021 - 9:59 am · Reply

    Haha! Loved reading this! Beautiful words blended with wit, humor & sarcasm as always 😄

    • Prithvi Sudindar
      8th July 2021 - 2:03 pm · Reply

      Happy Anniversary Mohan! Loved the shade of green and also different tones! Love the picture and the annotation! Stay blessed always both of you!!

  • VENKATESHWARA KB
    8th July 2021 - 10:24 am · Reply

    First let me wish both of you a very happy wedding anniversary
    You have expressed in a best way to celebrate the wedding anniversary by recognizing you and your wife are one
    The wisdom of marriage well experienced without division

    • Suna Prakash
      8th July 2021 - 1:47 pm · Reply

      Anyone can celebrate a birthday but it takes effort to celebrate a wedding anniversary!!! Stay blessed always!! 💗💗nice read .

  • Mukesh Kumar
    8th July 2021 - 12:26 pm · Reply

    Wow… this is called Love!!
    Timeless Love!

    God Bless both of you not only for this live, for forever!!

  • Vijaya suresh
    8th July 2021 - 3:33 pm · Reply

    Beautifully written Mohan about marriage and about your feeling.Marriage is only adjusting and adjusting comes out of love commitment and respect for each other. Both of you stay happy and may God bless you both with all the happines

  • Preethy
    8th July 2021 - 4:28 pm · Reply

    As always, another fantastic piece by you Mohan. You have a way with words that takes a special kind of skill which is rare to find these days! Hope Mamatha got a smile reading it :).

  • Sudha Guru
    8th July 2021 - 6:06 pm · Reply

    Happy anniversary Mona and Mamatha! Seems like a simple “Thank You Mamatha” yet filled with meanings and stories. Loved it Mona!

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After being threatened by a Bangalore mob boss, retired Indian businessman Mohan Ranga Rao takes a vow to trek around Mount Kailash, a holy Tibetan Mountain revered by over a billion people. What starts out as merely a challenging high-altitude trek soon becomes a life-changing adventure. With a blend of humour, honesty and keen insight, Mohan journeys toward a deeper understanding of the world around him. A memoir of a road less travelled and a true story of self-discovery at 19,000 feet.

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